Hail to the thief!

Auntie Greg, I feel ashamed.

I was very forgetful and selfish because my herpes was affecting my eye at the Hotel of Royalness, and I made a break for it with my friend and confidante's worldly possessions. Technically, I could have withdrawn all his hard-earned cash, and stolen his family automobile. I was a potential felon. I feel very sorry and ashamed, and as soon as I found out, I returned forthwith to deliver the goods to him. I was even wearing my night-shirt. Alas, he was not there, and a bearded proxy took the goods instead. I drove home in my automobile and went to bed, only to wake up the next day to find many missed calls from my friend and voicemail 901. Now I am not sure if the proxy returned the goods to my confidante, and I fear he is still abandoned in the car park behind the sun-rooms. What should I do? Would a promise of a Pimm's or some other sociable drink cheer him up, pray?

Please help. My conscience depends upon it.

Wallet and Key Thief Kellers

The goods was delivered - and it is I who is selfish! Sorry about the message you woke up to - my problem was a lack of phone (which was in the car) and therefore I had no means of contacting you! Auntie Greg thanks you for going the extra mile in the name of her cause! Thank you!
Much love,

P.S. I in fact owe you a drink!