This is a newsagents not a library!

Dear Auntie Greg,

I have a professional problem. As a fellow Agony Aunt I naturaly felt drawn to your website and your, frankly, excellent column.
My problem is that as not enough people write to me, I have been stealing your problems and responses and passing them off as my own in a national newspaper of some standing. I feel awful about this and don't know what to do next. I only hope that you can forgive me and give me some advice.

Shamefully yours,

Dear Deidre

Ah Deidre,
Couldn't resist borrowing a few problems eh? I'd try to relate to your problem of not receiving many problems, but the truth of the matter is, I don't have that problem, one might say it's the only problem I don't have! I feel that I have to be sympathetic really, because on reflection, it must be awful to be in the position that you are, where you want to help people but nobody wants your help. The truth of the matter is...
GET YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF MY PROBLEMS! I mean, sorry to hear about your terrible circumstances but you must understand that the contents of this website are fully protected by copyright, so anything that you are stealing you will be charged for. God I want to catch you in the act, that would be so satisfying. I'd take my poisoned fountain pen and ram it up your wrinkly old...
Don't go out alone at night sister, hate for you to get an ink enema!
Much love,
The one, the only, the original, Time magazine's woman of the year 1407,

Auntie Greg x
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