Hazardous super powers

Dear Auntie Greg,
Recently I fell in a vat marked hazardous, since then I have noticed strange goings on, and fear I may have adopted super powers. What shall I do?

Regards,
Anonymous

Well, well, well, this is a tricky situation. Right now I am seeing a bland skirt, a crisp, white blouse and a green cardigan! "Why?" you may ask. I'll tell you why. If you have the ability to sniff out strange goings on and maybe even, dare I say it, crime, then this is your chance to give something back to all those innocent people who lay helpless like sitting ducks, in a sick swamp of wrong-doings. Yes you will be super sleuth, of course you'll need a foolish side kick and dressing like Miss Marple will inevitably be par for the course. Go Anonymous, sniff out crime - and nip it in the bud!