Describe this penis to me...

hello all mighty greg i must confide in you as im afraid i have a strange phobia, i believe its called Medorthophobia (phobia of the erect penis) but my phobias more specific, i just think their damn ugly vainy and hairy and then the circumcised ones have scars and sometimes they smell :( what can i do apart from close my eyes? i tried before but just get caught in the eye and that hurts! oh the humanity!

black eyed

How the hell did you manage to get a black eye from a penis? How big was it? I would suggest that if you have a real thing against penises, it might be worth while giving the other sex a go. They don't have male parts you see. Give it a go and keep us all posted.
Much love,