Dear Greg

I have a very embarassing problem... I dont seem to have the knowledge of making a decent cheese sandwich. No matter how hard i try i can't get the right proportion of cheese on the bread.

I'm in constant panic that I will never find the right combination of ingredients. Please, please help me.

Cheese lady


Dear Charlotte,

Thanks for getting in touch, this problem is a serious one. I personally believe that it affects the lives of many people, but most of them are too ashamed to own up to it. Asking for help is always the first step towards solving a problem.

The art of the cheese sandwich is one that I first perfected during the Great War. Yes I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was the 11th November 1918, a great sense of relief was wafting over myself and the other men along side me in the trench. A popular rumour has circulated that there was a sole poppy growing out of the muddy ground that day, however this is a lie. Only one thing was to be found in 'no-mans land' that day, a block of mature cheddar, a loaf of sliced bread and a cheese grater.

In my opinion the third of these objects is the key ingredient for the perfect cheese sandwich. Make sure you finely grate enough cheese so that the bread is completely covered. Only butter one slice of bread then cut into diagonal halves. It will be the best cheese sandwich that you've ever experienced.

Good luck, I hope your cheesey endeavours go well!

Much love,

Auntie Greg x

P.S. Cheese

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