Exposed

To Auntie Greg

Iv been living a lie for so long since my first album came out, Iv deluded myself into thinking iv got talent and my songs are really good, but now McCartney is gonna expose me for the muppet i am! what should i do? come clean and tell the world im a terrible songwriter, or blag it a little longer? "Your beautiful, your beautiful, its true......" great eh?

save me!


James Blunt

Hi James,

I'm not going to answer your problem directly as I think that you have to do a lot of your own thinking on this matter. Only you can make this decision. Instead I'm going to tell you about when McCartney exposed me, or to avoid legal problems, how I exposed myself to Sir Paul McCartney.

After 4ft Pimp finished their set at Live 8 in Hyde Park I was pushed into doing an interview with Jonothan Ross immediately after he had interviewed Mac. On my way to the studio I realised I was going to have to answer an urgent call of nature first or else I would be forced to wriggle and sqirm around in front of the cameras with Jonothan.
Leaving the bands' preparation area I saw a tall and attractive Yew tree, and I thought to myself, 'that's perfect!' Whilst undoing my flies I realised what was happening but it was too late. In my rush I had made a terrible mistake! My chosen spot was not a beautiful yew, but instead was McCartney's wife Heather Mills!
Turning quickly to avoid pissing on her I presented my penis in the face in none other than Sir Paul McCartney who was sitting on the grass watching Pink Floyd.
It cost me a lot of money and I had to spend 18 days in prison.
Think what will happen to you James, my sins weren't nearly as bad as yours.
Think hard, much love,