Matters of the heart... (Three steps to heaven!)
Auntie Wauntie slightly slanty Greg,
Ok, actual problem here, but feel free to be comical about it anyway...
I think im in love with one of my best mates, his names Matt and hes amazing. The thing is I think he only likes me as a friend, which is fine but I would prefer to have him as a friend than to lose him over my love for him. this being said though I would of course love to skip down a meadow, arm in arm, and make passionate love in front of the neighbours (and spend the rest of my life with him).
how do i tackle this, especially considering how i think he feels for me and that i am too much of a whoose to talk about this with him.?
we need you auntie greg...you're our only hope...*message ends*
Hello there pet,
Don't be put off from asking me the odd serious question, despite having a comical column I did in fact pass Agony Aunt School (AAS) with flying colours.
Right, from the fact that you tell me that Matt only likes you as a friend I assume that you have already spoken to him or you've found this out through friends. If this assumption is incorrect then I still feel that you should follow the same 3 trusty steps, because afterall, he could have changed his mind!
STEP 1: OBSERVATION
This is a most necessary step, and to avoid confusion it may be a good idea to use the eyes and ears of your closest friends as well as your own. See if he's had a change of heart, read the signals that you get from him.
STEP 2: DELIBERATION
Have a think, try not to make your inferences too wild but there inevitably will be a trend between the behaviour you have witnessed and his feelings. Think of what your course of action will be, maybe it won't involve proposing to him, it could be that you decide to back off and deal with the rejection. Remember this rejection could be a small suffering compared with either rejection in the face of your persistence or the realisation that the relationship you've entered into isn't living up to your expectations. Make sure you think hard.
STEP 3: COMMUNICATION
This is the scary bit. If you decide he is giving you all the right signals then I'm afraid you're going to have to take the plunge and talk to him about your feelings. Despite this idea feeling scary, it shouldn't be that bad if you have carried out the first two steps well. You must have confidence in your convictions, afterall, you know what you've observed!
I wish you the best of luck with all of this, and remember, if it does end in tears, it'll all blow over eventually. You may of course die a lonely death, but I doubt it!
P.S. Let me know how it goes, I always love an update!